Joy's heart
by lettykoalamelomane
Summary: Story about Arizona, Callie and a teenage girl named Joy. I wrote this before season seven, so don't expect to see anything about it.
1. Déjàvu

We're at Seattle Grace hospital, in the middle of the afternoon.

* * *

**Chapter 1: déjà-vu**

Dr Robbins is waiting for the ambulance to come outside. Five minutes later the ambulance arrives, the ambulance man gets down of the lorry. Opening the doors, "Lucy Steaple, seventeen years old, cut on both forearms, she lost a lot of blood; veins are open"

Looking at the almost unconscious girl, she asked to the ambulance man "How did this happen?"

"She tried to kill herself" he quickly answered

"Oh gosh, oh no" Arizona doesn't like to deal with suicide, she really hates it. "Ok, thank you"

Now, examining the girl's injuries, she tried to talk to her, "Lucy can you hear me? If you can I would like you to move your head please"

Lucy in an effort moves her head.

"So, please listen to me, what I am going to tell you is not going to please you. You won't die today; you have to fight, with me." Arizona says, in a low voice.

"Please, let me…"breaths Lucy before fainting.

"Come on Lucy, you have to fight now, the world is full of people who loves you, you can do this!" shouts Arizona.

As usual she was caring too much for the girl.

Few minutes later Lucy was stable, Arizona is going to talk to Lucy's parent in the hall.

She arrives in front of a couple of too very strict parents, who looks like busy parents, but still caring for their children.

"Mr and Mrs Steaple, your daughter is going to be fine, but do you have any idea why she tried to kill herself?" asked Arizona gently.

"She had some troubles with some girls at school, but we didn't think it was that serious" answered Mr Steaple

"I'm going to contact the psychological service, in order to see if they can take care of her"

"She doesn't need psychiatry" answered back a girl before anyone adds anything.

"What?" says Arizona surprised that someone listened to them, and turning to the young girl.

Then, something stange happened between Arizona and the girl, a kind of déjà-vu.

"What are you doing here? I told you to stay out of my daughter's life. Look where she is because of you." Fires the mother to the girl, without looking at her

"Mrs Steaple, is she one of the girls your daughter had trouble with?"

"Yes"

"No, I'm the girl who is in love with your daughter, and I'm the girl your daughter is in love with. If she is there it's YOUR fault, not mine!" answered violently the blond hair girl.

"Oh, please everybody calm down, Mr and Mrs Steaple, would you like to see your daughter?"

"Please doctor Robbins"

* * *

Later in the doctors' rest room, Arizona was thankful on the sofa when Callie walks in.

Seeing the face of her girlfriend Callie knew something was wrong.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeh, it's just that today I had to save a girl's life because she tried to kill herself because her parents don't accept her to be gay" says Arizona

"Oh"

"The worst part is that I had to defend her parents against her girlfriend, and doesn't feel right." And she add in an ironic tone "but it's part of the job."

"Oh, did you talk to them?" asks Callie

"Who? The parents?"

"The girls"

"Not yet"


	2. Church

Sorry guys, I wanted to update sooner, but I've been busy. Hope you like it.

* * *

**Chapter 2 : Church**

Later, it is night and Arizona is working late, she is walking in the hall when she sees the young blond hair girl.

She stops and asks, "What are you still doing here?"

"I'm waiting for the morning, to see her." She answers

"you didn't see her?"

"her parents didn't allow me to go in her room"

"oh, I'm sorry, but don't you have to go home? Your parents are probably waiting for you."

"no. I don't have any home and any parents." The girl says directly.

Arizona felt bad when she heard the answer of the girl, she was also surprised by her own concern toward the girl.

Arizona stammers a little "I'm sorry", and then adds with more confidence "But you do live somewhere, you're not staying in the streets, are you?"

"Don't worry, I live in a church, and Mother Clara is taking good care of me, but she knows that I won't be there all the time and if I didn't tell her that I'm gone forever, she knows that I will be back someday." The blond girl answers back, a little annoyed by all the worries of Dr Robbins. And then she adds "Anyway, it doesn't really matter because my girlfriend is sleeping in a hospital bed and I can't do anything."

"Why?"

"Because, she can't talk to me. Since she told her parents she doesn't accept herself to be gay. And she's weak, she could try to do it again. But you could help her, and not because you are a doctor"

"Me?" Arizona asks surprised

"Yes, because you are gay and you have a girlfriend, and you can both talk to her." The young girl answers.

"How do you know all this about me? You can read in people's mind?"

"No, I watch people, I observe people, that's what people do when they live in a church, they just watch."

"Oh, right. Now, you should try to get some sleep, I'll come back on the morning to let you see Lucy." Arizona says in a low voice.

"Thank you, by the way, I'm Joy Church".

"Joy? It's my favorite first name."

"Church is not my real last name, but Mother Clara decided to change it, she didn't like the previous one, I guess." Joy answers, trying to fight tiredness.

"I'm…" Arizona starts

"Doctor Arizona Robbins, I know" Joy ends, smiling.

"Of course you know"

* * *

_Arizona comes back at Callie's place late in the middle of the night._

When she opens the doors it wakes up Callie. "Where have you been? I've waited for you."

"I'm sorry, I was talking to the girl, Lucy's girlfriend" Arizona answers, exhausted.

"Oh, and?"

"It's weird because it feels like I already know her, but I don't. Her name is Joy, and it's my favourite first name, and I don't know why, but she makes me feel strange." Arizona says, completely lost in her mind.

"That's ok, you need to rest, you had a tough day." Callie tries to make her feel better.

"She wants us to talk to Lucy."

"We'll go tomorrow, for now you need to rest." Callie almost whispers to Arizona. And then realising what her girlfriend just said. "Wait! You told her you were gay, and that we were together and everything"

"I didn't tell her anything, she just knew. Can we sleep now, please?"

"Sure baby, goodnight"

"'night"


	3. Stay Away

The morning after, Arizona and Callie arrive at hospital.

"Go to Lucy's room, I'm going to look for Joy."says Arizona.

Later, Arizona and Joy are arriving in Lucy's room when they see Lucy stood up on the window, Callie just behind.

Callie was trying to make Lucy get down from the window, "Lucy, listen to me, you don't want to do this, you don't want to die, right?"

Joy is so scared, you can't even imagine how she is feeling right now, and she almost cries " Please don't do this, you can't do this!"

"Stay away from me!" Lucy yells back to her girlfriend

Joy is really panicking, Arizona is trying to calm her down, without much success, actually, Joy was hyperventilating.

In the meantime, Callie is still trying to reason Lucy.

"Lucy, take my hand please, we're going to go back, step by step, ok?"

"don't move or I jump!" answers Lucy

Just at this moment, Alex arrives in the room

"Do you need help here?" he asks

"Please give me a bag, and if you find Lucy Steaple's parents, find a way they don't come here, but please do not alarm them, ok? Do not alarm anyone!" answers calmly Arizona

"got you!" says Alex giving her the bag

"Good, Come on Joy breathe in the bag, it's going to be fine"

The atmosphere is very tense, it is almost unbearable. Joy is the most far away from the window, she can't look, but anyway, she's completely scared, and so are Callie and Arizona, they kind of really care about those girls, especially Arizona.

Callie could not do anything, she keeps trying, but we can feel that her voice is shaking.

"Lucy, you don't want to hurt people, do you?... You don't want to hurt yourself, because you know, there are a lot of people who care about you. I do, and I'm sure dr Robbins does too, and the nurses, your parents, and your friends, and Joy! They all really care about you." She says

"I don't care!" Lucy yells back

"Why?" Callie answers, "you know it's okay to be gay, I'm gay, and Dr Robbins is gay too, and she is my girlfriend, and I love her very much, and we're happy. I had to fight for what I am in front of my dad, I had to tell him that I was in love with a girl, and I knew that it wasn't what he wanted to hear. But he finally accepted it, because he loves me and he has always loved me, because he's my dad, and he wants me to be happy, and I'm happy, I couldn't be happier right now! You know it's hard for your parents because nobody ever told them that you are still the little girl you were, that you are still the grown girl they raised. You just have to tell them, explain to them that you're still the same person, and being gay does not change anything. But if you jump right now, you won't be able to do it. Please, Lucy take my hand."

Lucy finally takes Callie's hand and get down from the window, then she bursts into tears in Callie's arms.

"That's ok, I know it's not easy" she says trying to comfort the young girl

She glances at Arizona who's taking care of Joy, and smile at the scene.

Then Lucy start talking, "I'm sorry Joy, I didn't mean to scare you, I didn't even knew you would came, I didn't want to hurt you, I swear, I knew you're suffering from spasmophilia, I'm sorry"

"Really?" Arizona asks, surprised.

"Sorry, I don't like talking about it" Joy answers, getting up to hug her girlfriend, and she whispers to her, "I'm just happy you're alright, I love you"

"I let you girls talk but Lucy, I think you'll have to talk to your parents, ok?" Arizona says, leaving the room.

Lucy simply nods, and then she kisses her girlfriend.

* * *

In the corridor, Arizona and Callie are talking.

"You saved her life" says Arizona, impressed

"I was so scared" Callie answers

"Me too."… "Callie?"

"What?"

"Thank you for loving me."

"Thank you for loving me back" Callie says, smiling at her girlfriend.

Through that smile, we can see all their love!

* * *

At the end of the day, Callie and Arizona were talking to each other when they get interrupted by Dr Bailey

"Girls, there is a young girl back there who would like to talk to you"

"Thank you Dr Bailey", answers Arizona

They both walk to the place Dr Bailey indicated them, Joy was waiting for them.

"Joy?" Arizona reacts, half surprised to see her there

"Doctor Robbins, Doctor Torres, I would like to thank you for saving Lucy's life and being there for me. I guess it's the first time that I remember someone really cared about me."

"Your parents…" starts Callie

"She…"quickly cuts Arizona

"Doctor Robbins" says calmly Joy, "that's ok, I can say it myself. I don't have parents. Maybe I had parents, maybe I never had parents, I don't know, nobody knows. I have no memories before my eighth birthday. And that day I woke up in a bed in a church. I don't even know whether my parents are still alive or dead. But it's ok, I'm happy. But no, nobody cared for me, and it feels great that someone cares, at least once. But please, both of you, don't worry about me anymore, I'm happy, I'm in love, and people cared. What do I need else. I have a place where I can sleep and Mother Clara who accepts to feed me. So, thank you, but now I have to go. And I'll take care of Lucy, I promise."

Arizona and Callie are pretty shocked, they don't really know what to say, Arizona just says "OK" seeing Joy leaving.

Once Joy left Callie turns in front of Arizona and tells her, "I like her, I really like her, and do you want to now why?"

"Why?" she asks with her usual smile

"Because she's reminding me a lot about you"

"Really?... Well, you know what?... it's weird because it feels like I've already met her somewhere"


	4. Scared

**Guys, I'm really, really sorry that I spent so much time without updating this story. Besides I really enjoy writing it, I've just been really busy for the last few months. Actually, it takes a lot of time because the story is already written on a copybook but only with dialogues so I have to write it again, as a real story. And it's really not simple, I remind you that English is not my mother tongue (If you find any grammar mistakes, or anything that is not clear, don't hesitate telling me, I'm here to improve myself as writing story but also as writing in English, anything could help, really). Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

_Few months later, at Seattle Grace Hospital._

Arizona was waiting the next ambulance that is arriving, she doesn't know much about it, actually, she only knows that a teenager is involved.

In the meantime, in the ambulance Mother Clara is holding Joy's hand.

When the doors of the ambulance open, "What do we've got?" Arizona asks

"Young girl, Seventeen years old, fainted after panic attack, she's awake now" answers the ambulance man.

And he adds "This is mother Clara, she takes care of the church where she lives" while he was getting the stretcher down from the ambulance.

"Is it Joy Church?" asks Arizona, half surprised, half scared.

"Yes. You know her?" quickly answers Mother Clara

"She went here few weeks ago for her girlfriend."

"Oh yes Lucy"

"Don't worry Mother Clara, Joy's going to be fine."

"Oh, I have no doubt about that, I leave her to you, I have to go back to my church"

"oh… right" Arizona reacts with her big smile, surprised that Mother Clara does not care more for Joy. Then Alex arrives, he is working in pediatrics this day. Even if she really cares about her she has other patients that are waiting for her, and that she couldn't let Karev take care of.

"Karev, can you take care of her please?"

"Sure, no problem"

"thank you, and be careful." And then addressing herself to Joy, caressing her cheek, "it's okay now"

She was trying to reassure her, but she could see how weak she was thanks to the color of her skin, and she could see how scared she was by looking in her eyes.

"Don't leave me" Joy whispers to Arizona

"I'll come back later; Dr Karev is going to take care of you right now"

* * *

Later in Joy's room, Dr Karev is trying to make her turn around, but she doesn't want to.

"Could you turn around please, I need to do some analyses" asks Karev to Joy, for the thousand times.

"like you care" she answers

"I do care, please turn around" he says desperately

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm a doctor, I have to take care of you and check if you're alright"

"I'm fine, leave me alone"

"No, I have to do my job, to do the analyses, and I'm not leaving until you've turned around"

"And I won't turn around if you don't leave!"

Karev is trying to stay calm, but Joy is getting on his nerves. Meanwhile Joy didn't understand why anybody could leave her alone.

At this moment Callie comes in the room.

"You're okay Dr Karev?"

"Actually, no, because she doesn't want me to do the analyses." He says a little pissed off.

Then Joy adds " Go away both, leave me alone, I don't want you to care, I'm fine!"

Callie comes closer to Joy, and puts her hand on Joy's forehead

"She's got fever, Dr Karev come with me…"

"I didn't…" he starts while they're both out of the room

"I know. Look, she suffers from spasmophilia, she needs to calm down and obviously she doesn't want us to be there. She has fever, I don't know why, she needs analyses. Call Dr Robbins and explain her, until she's there wait for her out of the room, but keep an eye on her." Explains Callie

Few minutes later, Arizona arrives running

"Karev what are you doing outside? What happened, why did you call me?"

"She doesn't want me in, she doesn't want to let me do the analyses, and she doesn't want us to care!" answers Karev fed up of all this.

"Oh, … I'm going to talk to her"

Arizona walks in the room, Joy turns her head to see who's coming in. For once she doesn't say anything. Arizona starts speaking

"Joy, I know you don't want us to care, you're not use to it, but we're trying to do our job. And our job is to care about sick people. And for now, you are sick, so you have to let us do our job and check why you're sick."

"I'm not sick", whispers Joy

"Yes, you are, otherwise you wouldn't be there, plus you have fever which means that you are sick."

"I don't like hospital" adds dryly the young girl

"so, close your eyes, and imagine yourself in your bed in church, imagine yourself in a wonderful and peaceful place, where you feel safe and happy"

Joy calmed down, Alex did the analysis and everything showed that she is fine.

* * *

On their way back home, Callie and Arizona are talking.

"So what's about Joy, did you manage to chill her out?" asks Callie to Arizona

"Yes , and Karev did the test, but there's nothing, she's perfectly healthy, and I don't know why she has fever, and why she's lying in this hospital bed." answers Arizona trying to find the solution of the problem.

"Oh, it's weird and I keep asking myself why is she so scared? I mean, she fainted after panic attack in the morning while she was waking up, that's not normal. And she was scared all day."

"Well, she doesn't like hospital, she has always been alone. Of course she's scared." Finally says Arizona.

* * *

**And I promise, from right now I'll update more often (I'll do my best)**


	5. Nightmare

**Hey guys, sorry for the time I took to update, I'll try to update sooner next time.**

* * *

Chapter 5 : Nightmare

Later, while Arizona and Callie were sleeping, Arizona's pager is beeping.

She looks at it, it's written "911, Joy Church", "shit!" she says "911, it's Joy!"

"What!" answers Callie half awake, and then realizing what her girlfriend just said, adds "I'm coming with you"

"Quick" says Arizona, panicking.

Few minutes later, they arrive at Joy's room in hospital. The nurse was waiting for Dr Robbins, who asks, "what's happening?", then the nurse answers, completely panicked, "she was sleeping calmly, and then her heart started beating higher and higher, I didn't know if I had to wake her up. It keeps beating higher."

Then someone else says "she's scared!", it is Lucy, Joy's girlfriend.

"Lucy! Go out of the room, she'll be fine, we're taking care of her, and you're not supposed to be here!" retort Callie a little dryly, probably stress by the whole situation.

Lucy goes outside, without saying a word, but she stayed just behind the window, watching everything that happens

In the same time, Arizona was focusing on Joy, not knowing what to do. "What do we do? We wake her up?" asks Arizona, more for herself than for Callie.

"Heart beats rising to 150" says Callie checking the monitor.

Then Arizona decides to wake her up, she can't let her heart rise like that without doing nothing. So she says "Joy, come on Joy"

"160" adds Callie, her eyes staring at the monitor

"Joy! It's not real, wake up!" Arizona says, louder

But it wasn't working, Joy was still panicking in her sleep, and she wouldn't wake up.

"170" adds again Callie

"Joy! It's ok!" almost shout Arizona, about to lose her temper.

"Move, her do something!... 178!"

"Come on Joy!" Arizona says, shaking her up.

Joy finally wakes up, completely scared, she doesn't seem into the real world, lost, panick attack has already started, she is hyperventilating, but he heart beat are getting down. Arizona is trying to reassure, she takes her in her arms, "good, breathe deeply, it's okay, shu…"

Then addressing herself to Callie, "Could you take Lucy for a glass of water, or something, change what she has in her mind, and I would like to talk to her alone." Watching Joy, with some kind of tenderness.

Callie takes Lucy away.

Joy is coming back to herself, she is starting to realizing what just happened, and to understand where she is and why she is here, and then, this huge feeling of shame spread on her, and she can't control anything. She starts "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay" Arizona cut her off, "stop apologizing, nothing that happened is your fault."

Arizona was still holding her in her arms, not wanting to let her go, as a parent do to protect his scared child after a nightmare. Joy tries to get off.

"No, stay like this!"

"It feel weird, I've never been motherhood." Says Joy, a little embarrassed

"I know, that's why I'm doing it. Look Joy, I'm just trying to help you, and I'm trying to understand what's going on in your head. What scares you like that? Why were you so scared? What happened in your nightmare?" asks Arizona, really trying to figure out how to help the girl.

Joy hesitates, she starts taking some air, as she is going to talk, and then, she stays silent, then Arizona encourage her again, with her reassuring look, as usual, and the teenage girl finally open herself for the first time of her life.

She starts with a shy voice, "It's always the same thing, I'm in a car. There are a boy next to me, and to people in the front places. And then, the driver says "I can't stop the car anymore". And there are lights running fast. It's so confusing. I start to panic, and the woman says "Emily, calm down, you're going to be okay". Then I hear screams and the car crashes, fast, too fast and…"

"And what?" asks kindly Arizona, trying not to pressure her.

But it seems that Joy can't spell it. That it stuck in her mind and she can't give it away.

"Come on, you did great until then, … and what?"

"Blood, a lot of blood, and I panic, I keep panicking until I wake up"

"It's ok, it's just a nightmare" says Arizona holding her tight in her arms

"But it seems so real!" says Joy, letting her head fall on Arizona's shoulder. Arizona starts caressing her hair. Then, Joy adds "I don't even know an Emily"

Joy sits up on her bed, and Arizona notices her bracelet.

"Where did you find this bracelet?" asks Arizona, a little dryly

Joy is a little surprised by the question but answers without showing anything "I always had it as far as I can remember, it's just plastic stars, but it's the only thing I still have that I had before my eight birthday."

"No, it's weird because I have exactly the same one" Arizona says taking it out of her pocket "I always have it in my pocket"

"There must be thousands and thousands of same ones in America"

"Yeah, Anyway, I'm going to give you something to help you sleep fine."

"Wait, Dr Robbins, I didn't want to ask you this, at least not now, but Lucy, brought the paper this afternoon and you're the only person that could do this." Joy adds, obviously a little stressed out.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's a paper that would make you my legal tutor, if you sign. But it's not a question of money, it's just a paper and it'll help me if I want to go to university or if I want a job. It's just a security, to reassure people that I have someone reliable close to me. I promise you, you won't have any trouble, you would just be the person they call if I fall and break my ankle. But I won't…it won't bother, I'll make sure it doesn't happen. And I swear I'll never ask you money, ever. But I'd understand if you don't agree, you don't know me, and you're only my doctor, I don't even know whether it's legal or not, but you're my only chance. I know you also have to talk to Callie, because she is concerned as well."

Arizona is speechless, she wasn't expecting this at all, and first of all, she wanted to say no straight away, but something stopped her, something hidden, she couldn't know what. She cares so much for that girl, more than any of her other patients and she couldn't tell why, and it was messing her head up. For now she doesn't know what to think anymore, and what to say to that lonely girl.

She finally says "I'm going to think about it, but I don't promise anything", but deeply, in her mind she thought "_What am I doing?"_

"Thank you doctor Robbins" Joy answers, relieved.

Then Arizona leaves the room.

Few minutes later, Callie is talking to Lucy in the rest room when Arizona comes in.

"Hey is she ok?" asks Callie

"Yeah, she's going to be ok, I'm going to give her something to help her sleep." then addressing herself to Lucy, "I was wondering if you would like to go."

Lucy walks out of the room, and Arizona is going to follow her, but Callie stops her.

"Arizona, are you ok? You seem weird."

"Don't worry I'm fine, I'm just exhausted"

"Take a rest, I'm going to bring it to her" Callie says, taking the med Arizona have in her hand. Then Callie kisses Arizona on the cheek sweetly and leaves the room.

Callie and Lucy arrive in Joy's room

"Hey" says Joy to Lucy, happy to see her girlfriend

"Are you ok?" asks Lucy coming next to her girlfriend

"I'm fine, I guess…"

Lucy leans on her girlfriend to kiss her

In the same time, Callie was pouring water into a glass. She gives the glass of water with the med, saying "here, take this, it should help you sleep"

"Thank you"

Then talking to Lucy, "if you hear her heart rising up, wake her up, ok?"

"Of course Dr Torres"


	6. Memory trouble

**Oh my god I'm back! I can't believe it myself! ok I know I must be the worst updater in this entire website, and I'm sorry, I just have been ultra busy, with school, music, and everything, and to add with this my computer is super extra slow, like I have to wait like 5 minutes any time I click in something!**

**Ok SO this chapter is pretty short, but I promise that the next ones will be longer, it's kind of a filler chapter! This story is ending soon, 2 more chapters to go! It was not what I planned at the beginning, it was supposed to be longer, but I think it ends well this way, and maybe if I have time later I'll do a sequel, no promises**!

* * *

Chapter6 : memory trouble

In the doctor rest room, Arizona fell asleep. She was now dreaming, and in her dream, she sees herself giving a bracelet with plastic stars and wearing one herself.

At the same moment Callie arrives in the room, and says "Arizona" several times to wake her girlfriend up.

Finally, Arizona wakes up and says "I'm awake", while actually, she doesn't really understand what happened, where she is, and that the dream she was having was not the reality.

Then Callie answers "good, because you have patient to take care of"

"What time is it?"

"it's 8 a.m."

"What already!"

Then Callie leaves the room because she needs to go take care of a patient.

And then for no apparent reason, Arizona takes the paper Joy gave her last night and signs it. Then goes back to Joy's room and gave her back the paper.

"you didn't" says Joy, not really surprised but a little disappointed

"yes, I did", answers Arizona

"Thank you very, very much doctor Robbins, I really appreciate it"

"Oh no no no no, now you have to call me Arizona. I can't be your doctor anymore."

"OK, and what about Dr Torres?"

"If she comes don't tell her." Answers Arizona a little worried.

"You didn't talk to her?"

"I will, I promise"

"No, but seriously, I don't want to be any trouble between you guys, so if she doesn't agree, you come here and we destroy the paper together, ok? If she does agree, she has to come herself and say it."

"How long do I have?" asks Arizona

"Until I get out of the fucking hospital"

"ok" says Arizona with a law voice, "bye"

_Joy can't stay long here anymore, so I have three days max_, thought Arizona

While she arrives in the hall, she sees Alex talking to Mother Clara.

He is asking things about Joy's folder. "I have to find Joy's folder, and I thought you might be able to help me."

"of course,ask me anything you need to"

"Do you remember when Joy arrived at your church?" he asks innocently

"Oh, I remember perfectly" she answers, and then she stars telling him the story, "it was nine years ago, the 21st October 2003. A young man arrives in the church, I'd never seen him before, and he had a little girl with him, then he told me '_It's her birthday tomorrow, and I have to buy her a present can you keep an eye on her please?'_ I did, but the guy never came back. The little girl was tired and she told me they flown all the night, so I supposed they were coming from somewhere in the US. And then she'd fallen asleep until the next morning, her eighth birthday and she didn't have any memories"

Arizona heard everything, and it was bothering her, she kept asking herself, '_What happened in my life in October 2003?'_. I t was making her sick, because she wasn't able to remember.

Few hours later, in the bathroom, Arizona was throwing up and crying. At this moment, Bailey walks in. Hearing the noise, she asks "What the hell is going on in here? Who is inside?"

No one answers, so she stoops and recognizes the roller basket shoes of Arizona. Then she adds " Arizona, what the hell is going on?"

Arizona finally open the door, a bit ashamed of herself, Bailey, tries to calm her down and in the same time to understand what is happening, "hey, I've never seen you like that, what's happening?" she asks in a low voice.

"I,…um…I can't remember, every time I try to remember it makes me feel sick and…" answers Arizona

"But what are you trying to remember?"

"What happened in my life in October 2003"

"Why?"

"Because, I've this patient and I'm sure I'm linked to her in some way and I don't know why, and it feels awful, and she makes me strange, and I don't know everything is weird and it's not like other patients, and…"

"Ok, calm down" cuts Bailey, "I'm sure nothing much has happened in October 2003, you're worrying too much"

"I'm telling you something happened!" yells Arizona, almost losing her temper.

"I'm going to look for your girl, but I think you should go home and rest."

Arizona is sat on the floor, feeling weak and sick, she could barely move. Bailey who is sat on the floor just next to her, stands up and gets out of the bathrooms and falls right in front of Callie.

"Oh, Bailey, have you seen Arizona?" asks Callie, visibly excited about something

"Actually, I was looking for you" says Bailey a little concerned, "you're girl is sick. She is nervous about something that happened in her life nine years ago."

The smiles on Callie's face disappears and and concerned and worried face takes its place.

"Oh, no, where is she?" she asks

"Just here in the bathroom, I think she needs you and a lot of rest"

Callie runs inside the bathroom and finds Arizona almost awake on the floor.

"Arizona, come on"

"I'm sorry, I… I just… I can't remember, and I have to, and it makes me…" says Arizona in a half breath.

"Ok no, you need to rest ok, you're exhausted and nervous, and I hate seeing you like that. I'm bringing you home."

"But…" starts Arizona, but Callie puts her hands on her mouth and stops her, then she holds her in her arms helping her to stands up. Then she helps her walk to the car. When they arrives she carries her in the flat and lie her on the bed.

The she kisses her on the forehead and says "if you need anything at all you call me ok?"

Arizona nods , obviously not strong enough to talk.


	7. I'm sorry

**Wow, two updates in two days, I've never done this before! Yeah well it's the end, everything is all done! There's only one more chapter after this one, if you guys review or show me your interest enough, I might post it later tonight, otherwise, I tell you that I won't have internet for a while, so you might have to wait for another month to get the last chapter. Anyway, I think you might enjoy this one :)!**

Chapter seven : I'm sorry

Later, Callie comes back home. She directly goes in the room where Arizona is resting, a bit worried for her girlfriend. All the afternoon she wondered why Arizona was so upset about that Joy, why she cares so much for that girl she doesn't know. She also has some news to tell her and the situation complicates things a little.

"how are you?" simply asks Callie

"I'm fine, I'm fine" quickly replies Arizona, obviously repeating over and over what she really has to tell to her girlfriend. Then she adds, "look, I have to talk to you"

Callie starts to get really worried at that point, she can't even control herself. She knew her girlfriend hasn't been herself lately, she didn't want to think about it, but, she was worried that she'd done something wrong. Not that she believe that Arizona was able to do such a thing, but still, a part of her couldn't help but to be scared about it. At that moment the news that she had to give her girlfriend came back in her mind.

"Look, honey, I also have to talk to you" Callie adds.

Arizona looks at her girlfriend with concern, and when she's about to talk, Callie cuts her off, "Don't worry it's nothing major, it's just something that involves you, I…" Callie stops as the looks of her girlfriend keep showing her more and more worries.

Arizona looks down, and almost whispers "I did something wrong"

Callie couldn't hold on all the worries inside her, "did you kill someone on purpose? Did you cheat on me?..." She was going to continue but Arizona stops her prior and yells "No" that cause both women to look at each other, "I would never ever do such a thing." Arizona adds more slowly.

"I…" then Arizona look down again.

Callie couldn't understand the sad look of her girlfriend, she come closer to her cupping her face. "What's wrong?" she asks, encouraging her to go ahead.

"I signed a paper to be Joy's legal tutor"

"What?" exclaims Callie with surprise. But it wasn't a bad feeling, it was relief, she thought her girlfriend really did something wrong, instead, she just helped a lost teenager. She even felt a little bad not being able to trust her girlfriend. Arizona, in her side, is trying to find something to say, panic invading her. But before she could find anything to say that makes sense, Callie is already speaking.

"No, it's fine, I'm totally cool with it" Callie reassures her, "don't take my reaction the wrong way, I really thought you did something wrong and when you said..." she pauses for a while trying to find the right words, "It was a relief, but you know, I like the kid, she's awesome. And I don't know why, but I know you feel close to her, it's ok. Really"

Arizona looks at her girlfriend confused, "really?"

"Really!"

"Thank you" she breaths before hugging her girlfriend.

"I also have something to tell you, and I'm not very proud but" Arizona is going to interrupt her, but Callie put her hand up to show that she should let her finish. "Christina asked me if she could leave the place. I mean, make the flat, just ours. And I said yes because I was so excited that we could have the place just for us. And I'm sorry because I know I should have come to you and asked you about it, and I don't know about the rent and everything if you'll be ok. I was going to tell you, but you were sick and I was worried…" Callie is talking really fast, but Arizona stops her "stop talking" she whispers to her, coming even closer, then kissing her softly on the lips. "I actually love the idea of me and you alone here" she whispers in Callie's ear.

"You do? You're not mad?"

"Why would I be, for you wanting to be alone with me, how could I get mad?" she says, giving her a reassuring smile.

Callie kisses Arizona again, before pulling apart and tells her that she will have to go see Christina the morning after, and Arizona answers telling Callie that she'll have to go and see Joy as well.

They finally fall asleep after a tough day.

Arizona is now dreaming, but it's not a real dream, it's actually more of a flashback. It was during her first year of residency, she was under Dr Rosery's responsibility this night.

"_We've got a major car accident, four people are involved, two adults, two kids. The parents are severely injured as well as the older kid. The little girl is in shock state. Arizona you take care of her." Doctor Rosery says in a very directive way. Arizona is not so happy that she will probably not assist a surgery tonight, but happy in way that she might help a little girl._

_The ambulances finally arrive._

_An ambulance man drop off the truck a little girl, obviously extremely scared, hard-breathing, "seven years old, she's having a panic attack, we don't know her name" he states before leaving to help his colleague with the other patients._

_Arizona finds her way to the little girl, "hi, I'm doctor Robbins, breathe, it's goanna be good, we're going to try everything we can" she says, but the little girl doesn't look at her, her gaze stay still, her eyes wide open, so that Arizona doesn't even know if the girl heard her or listened to her. She finally hugs the little girl, trying to make her feel better. She feels the girl's breathing getting a little slower and realize that it worked a little._

_She ushers the girl inside the building and help her sit down on a high chair._

"_So, Can you tell me your name?" Arizona asks lightly. But the girl doesn't move, her gaze still lost in her mind._

_Suddenly a stretcher carrying a woman stops in front of us. The woman turns her head and her gaze finds the one of her daughter. And then addressing herself to Arizona she cries "this is my little girl, please you have to protect her, from our family. This wasn't an accident! Please take care of her, you'll be great, you'll be her mom. It's her eighth birthday in two days…"_

_Then she is moved to the OR. Arizona is still trying to figure out all that she has just heard, it's too much information at the same time for her to take in. _

_She tried to reassure the little girl that is starting to panic again. She hugs her tight, to make her feel safe and it works. Fifteen minutes later, the little girl was quiet and calm, almost falling asleep. _

"_okay sweetheart, you'll be ok, I promise. What's your name?" Arizona asks in a whisper._

_And for the first time the little girl answers, looking straight in Arizona's eyes. "I can't remember, I can't remember anything" she stammers, obviously worried about that._

_Arizona worries a bit, maybe she have a trauma, I hope it's not too bad._

"_I'm goanna run some test to see if everything is alright, okay?"_

_The little girl simply nods, then delicately puts her head on Arizona's shoulder, closing her eyes, obviously wanting to sleep. At first, Arizona liked the feeling of this little girl in her arms, as if it was her child. But then she quickly realized that she should not fall asleep, if indeed she has a bad trauma. She moves her, getting the little girl to look at her again, but this time she didn't see worries or pain in her eyes, but gratefulness and little bit of surprise. The little girl wonders why she couldn't sleep._

_As if Arizona read her mind, she just informs her that she can't sleep until they know for sure that there is not some internal bleeding that could damage her brain._

_Then Arizona gets the little girl to walk to the IR._

_Later, Dr Rosery comes back with the result of the test, giving them to Arizona. She takes a close look at it._

"_Dr Rosery, the results of the test are clean, there's nothing wrong, but she still doesn't remember" she states._

_Dr Rosery nods, agreeing with what said his intern, then he questions her, "what do you think it is?"_

"_Maybe it's the state of shock, it could come back anytime, or it's something else." She answers, knowing she is right_

"_Exactly, but I think it's come back, just wait." Then he adds, "choose a name."_

_Arizona looks at Dr Rosery, with surprise, wondering why he would ask her something like that. "um… wh.." she starts, but is quickly cut off by Dr Rosery explanations. "She doesn't have a name, pick one"_

"_oh" then she stops, not knowing if it is really her place to decide such a thing, she looks at the serious face of the doctor in front of her, and choose not to argue about that. "well Joy is my favorite first name." she answers shyly._

"_Joy it is" he replies with a smile. "Write it on the folder and put your last name or anything you want instead of hers."_

_She takes the folder, hesitates for a moment then writes, 'Joy Arizona'_

_The dreams jump to the scene where Arizona gives the little plastic stars bracelet to the little girl._

"_You keep it as long as you don't want to forget about me" she warns the now-named-Joy girl._

_The little girl give Arizona a smile, which is a way of thanking her for the bracelet, then as Arizona's words hit her, her smile fades out. "You won't leave alone, will you?" she asks concerned_

_At that question, the words of the little girl's mom come back in her mind._

"_I'm not going anywhere, I promise" she tells her sincerely, determined that she will keep Joy as hers._

_Right at this moment Dr Rosery decides to intervene._

"_Dr Robbins, you have to bring her to the social services."_

"_But I promised her mom that…" she start, a bit hopeless._

"_I know, but you have your residency to care about, and you can't have a child to take care while doing your residency, so you bring her there or I'll do it." He says, a bit too coldly for Arizona's liking._

_He does have a point though, she wouldn't be able to give the little girl a decent life while being a surgeon resident._

_So she decided to bring her to the social services, even if it is the last thing that she wants to do. Two men are waiting for her, well, Joy. Prior to letting her go, she hugs her tight and whispers in her ear "I'll come back, I promise"_

"_Don't let them take me!" the little girl replies, on the verge of crying_

"_I'm sorry" Arizona says, already wiping the tears that are falling down on her cheeks, stunned, feeling horrible. She watches the girl leave. The little girl keep turning around to watch Arizona, but the social worker guys keep pushing her out of Arizona's sight._

_Arizona didn't stop repeating I'm sorry._

She wakes up, whispering I'm sorry to herself.


	8. Thank you

**Hey guys! I decided not to torture you for so long! I came back yesterday night, and I'm leaving this afternoon again, but I thought I could use a little time to upload this last chapter. Thank you for the one who reviews and the followers. It means a lot to me that you like this story. So here is the last chapter, I hope you guys will like it!  
**

Chapter 8 : Thank you

Arizona realizes that all this is not just a dream, she gets up and goes to the living room to cry.

She's been crying for approximately ten minutes when Callie wakes up. She feels that the place next to her is empty, and then she hears her girlfriend in the living room. She quickly gets up, a bunch of worried thought hitting her.

She walks in front of her girlfriend and kneel down to meet her eyes.

She puts the bangs that have fallen on Arizona's face behind her ear, saying "Arizona, what's wrong? Is it about the flat? Because if it is you know that…"

"It's not that!" Arizona cuts her off "I…" she starts but can't find the words to finish her sentence, as another round of tears come down. Callie hugs her trying to calm her down.

"What is it?" she asks concerned, then adds "you know you can tell me anything."

"It's my fault, it's all fault Callie, she wouldn't have to live that life if I hadn't let her go." Arizona states very quickly, obviously guilty.

Callie is confused " Who are you talking about?"

"Joy, I told you that I felt that I met her before, that she was making me feel strange. Well…" she pause, but Callie doesn't interrupt, letting Arizona take all the time she needs. "…it's because I was there when her parents died, I was there and I promised her mom that I would take care of her, that I would protect her, that I wouldn't leave her alone. But they took her away, and I… I didn't…" And again she's struggling with her emotion, fighting the tears not to fall down.

She finally finds the strength to tell her the whole story.

Once more Callie is hugging her. "it's ok honey, you did nothing wrong" she says placing soft kisses on her neck.

She slowly pulls away, looking her girlfriend straight in the eyes, trying to figure out what to tell her to make her feel better. Arizona softens a bit looking at her girlfriend, feeling all the love she wants to give her.

"Joy is not even her real name, I gave her that name. She had no memories when she was brought in, so I had to choose one for her. I let her down…. But they told me she'd be fine."

"She is fine" Callie tries to reassure her

"No, she is not, look at her, she has no parents, no home. She is scared of life, and what did I do? Nothing! I didn't do anything." Anger replacing pain, sadness and guilt.

"Arizona, stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault, the social worker didn't do their work correctly, if there's someone to blame it's them, not you! Besides, it's not too late. You can try to fix things now. That's why you signed her paper right?"

"I didn't know when I signed the paper." Arizona says.

Callie looks at her confused.

"I didn't remember, it just all came back, just tonight."

"That explains a lot! All of this is just a bit overwhelming on you, but it's goanna be alright, I know it." Callie replies calmly.

Arizona simply nods, as if she is just trying to take in all the words her girlfriend just told her.

"I have to tell her, but she's goanna hate me!" she states after a while.

"No she won't, she will be grateful for what you've done, and what you're doing now for her." Callie answers back, trying to reassure her worrying girlfriend. "We'll go see her tomorrow, but first, try to get some sleep, you're exhausted" she adds, helping her girlfriend to stand up and escorting her to their room. "And please stop crying" she places a soft kiss on Arizona's cheek which earns her a very light smile.

They both fell asleep very quickly obviously exhausted by all the emotions.

* * *

The morning after, when they arrive at the hospital, Callie can feel Arizona tense up a little. They haven't really talked to each other since last night, not knowing what to say.

"Are you ok?" Callie asks breaking the silence.

"I guess I am, but I don't know" replies Arizona sincerely

"Come on we're going to speak to her" says Callie, putting her arms around her waist

Arizona stops in the middle of the hall, "I need to do this by myself"

Callie, understood, of course she wanted to be there for her girlfriend, but it's not her story, so she'll just wait until her girlfriend asks her to be there.

"If you need me you know how to find me" she adds before putting a light kiss on Arizona's cheek and leaving to take care of her patients.

Arizona is heading to Joy's room, a thousand thoughts going through her mind, trying to find the right way to tell her. Any of her thoughts seem good enough to announce her that this is her fault she is now lying in a hospital bed. She is now in front of Joy's room.

She slowly opens the door, Joy is already awake.

"Hey" Arizona says in a low voice.

She is greeted with a smiling Joy, obviously happy to see her, but suddenly her smile fades. "Hey Doc…" she starts, but seeing the look that Arizona gives her, she quickly stops and starts again "Arizona, … you're alone… which means…" she says hesitantly

"No, no, no, no, she's ok, she'll come later. Lucy's not here?"

"She's at school" she's says a bit sharply.

"Right, look, I have to talk to you about something very important" starts Arizona, a bit worried.

"What!, am I sick or something?"

"No, no, just listen." She pauses, sits down on the edge of the bed, takes a big breath and resumes. "Two days before you're eighth birthday you had a car accident with your parents and your older brother. Only you survived." She pauses again but Joy is too shocked to talk. "I was there, I was the one who took care of you. I was the one who promised your mom and you that I would protect you whatever happened. You had no memory, so I chose a name for you and they changed your last name because you were in danger. You're real name is…"

"Stop, I don't want to hear it, it could bring danger back in my life, I don't want to know it, my real name is Church and that's it! But I guess my real first name is Emily and the nightmares I was having was in fact what happened during the accident."

"I guess so, and I was the one who gave you this bracelet" showing the little plastic stars bracelet around Joy's wrist "for you to remember me but it didn't work, you had no memory because you were in state of shock but you should have had it back by now."

There is one thing Joy didn't understand, "Why didn't you stay with me?" she asks, and it came bit harder than she intended.

"I wanted to, but they took you away from me, they forced me to give you up. They told me you'd be safe and ok. But they lied, and I feel so sorry, you have every right to hate me, and…"

"I don't!" she cuts her off, "and you shouldn't be sorry! Look, I'm happy, I found you back, you know the way no one knows about me, you care about me like nobody cares about me. I'm in love and…"

"you have no home and no family" Arizona finishes for her

"Well, I have you know, haven't I?" Joy asks smiling

"Of course, but I could never replace a whole family, could I?"

"We'll see."

"Ok, I have to go now, I'll come back later, try to get some rest until then, ok?"

Joy simply nods her head

Arizona is now leaving the room.

"Arizona", Joy calls her, she turns around and smile, the young girl adds "thank you"

"What for?" Arizona asks a bit surprised

"Giving me this name"

"It's my favorite" she says leaving the room.

Later, Arizona meets Christina and tells her it's fine for the flat. Then she makes some calls to get Joy's folder on fax, she corrects 'Arizona' by 'Church' and goes find Karev.

At the end of the day, Callie meets Arizona in a corridor, and she is happy to find her smiling.

"Hey, how did it go?" Callie asks a bit concerned

"Fine, good actually. She wants us to be her family now."

"Do you regret signing the paper?"

"No, not one second, it just feels weird!"

"Let's go see her!" adds intertwining her hand with Arizona's

Few minutes later they arrive in Joy's room. Lucy and her are watching something on a laptop.

"Hey girls" Arizona greets them with a smile

"Doctor Robbins, Doctor Torres, we're watching Joy's concert when she was ten" Lucy tells them, and pride could be heard in her voice.

Callie and Arizona walks behind them to watch the screen. We can see a little blond girl in an altar of a church, and a crowded church. The little girl is singing beautifully.

"You sang very well" Callie tells her honestly.

"She sings even better now, and you should hear her play the piano." Adds Lucy

"Shush!" says Joy to silence her girlfriend

"It's true" Lucy whines, and pouts, a little unhappy that her girlfriend doesn't believe her.

"You'll have to tell me when you do another concert" Arizona cuts in, interrupting the staring contest that just started between the two young girls.

"Maybe" Joy says, but knowing that she wouldn't do it.

"By the way I'm here to tell you it's perfectly fine with me for the paper. I think it's great that Arizona is officially something for you now, it could have been sooner, but maybe later it'll be more, who knows." She says the last bit of her sentence looking straight in Arizona's eyes, showing her she means every word she says. Arizona smiles at that.

"What?" Lucy asks, oblivious to what happened today

"I'll explain later" Joy tells her.

"What about, I fill you in with what happened today, while we give those two some alone time" Callie suggests to Lucy.

She simply nods, and then gets up, kisses lightly Joy on the lips and leaves the room with Callie.

Joy closes the laptop, and Arizona sits down next to her on the bed. She put a kiss on Joy's forehead, something she wanted to do for a long time.

"Hey Arizona, you know my heart belongs to only one person and it will always be that way since now!"

"Why that?... I know Lucy is your first love and all, but you're still young, you have time to think about those things."

"Stop being so motherly already!" she laughs, "I wasn't thinking about Lucy! I was thinking about you!"

"oh" was all that Arizona could say.

"Look, I know it might seem too soon or anything, but you're the closest thing I have to a mother, and I like it that way." She pauses for a while then adds. "So you gave me a name, I give you my heart"

Those words made Arizona swoon, wanting to be what she was deprived to be years ago, the little girl's mom.

"Thank you" was all that she said, but there were no need to say more. Joy's heart belongs to her.

**The End (to be continued?... (maybe))**

* * *

**So, what do you think? **

**Ok, well I did a lot of thinking about this story, and I decided that I will write a sequel, because there are lot have things that still need answers don't you think? However I don't know how soon I'll be able to write it, then to upload it! I already have a few ideas, I'll add things from season 7 and 8. If you guys have any ideas, tell me!  
**

**For now I'll be updating my SON fanfic, and soon, I'll be posting a One Tree Hill story. Little spoiler here, if you guys like lesbian story line and One Tree Hill you might be happy :)  
**

**Afterwards I'll try to work on the sequel of Joy's heart, when I upload it for the first time, I'll put a little update here, so you guys know!**

**I send you all my love, readers, followers, favoriters, reviewers!  
**


	9. forum: Joy's heart following

So guys, for the one that want a sequel, I posted a topic on a forum, named Joy's heart following. Basically, it's for the one that'd like to help me find ideas! so go there and tell me ;)

How to find the topic:

forums - Grey's Anatomy - Calzona Heaven (3rd one) - Joy's heart following

Thank you all for the nice reviews, it just made me want to keep writing =)

LKM


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